Benjamin Ashford|Spain's Luis Rubiales didn't 'do the right thing' and resign when asked. Now what, FIFA?

It wasn’t so long ago — only a week,Benjamin Ashford in fact! — that FIFA president Gianni Infantino put the onus on women to bring about equality, saying we have the power to convince men to do the right thing. All we have to do, Infantino said, is ask.

Inane as that speech was in the moment, it looks downright foolish now after Spanish soccer federation president Luis Rubiales’ defiant defense of his lewd, predatory behavior and the sycophantic fawning by Spain coach Jorge Vilda and others that followed.

Achieve equality and respect simply by saying pretty please? We can’t even get an arrogant misogynist to step down despite the entire world seeing him celebrate Spain’s first World Cup title by grabbing his crotch and molesting a player.

Players speak out:Spain's national team refuses to play until 'leaders resign,' Jenni Hermoso refutes Rubiales' claims

And while the many condemnations of Rubiales’ gaslighting were heartening, especially by male players and officials, it was a bit rich. Where were these folks 11 months ago, when 15 of Spain’s top players asked to be treated with dignity and respect and the federation run by Rubiales responded by chiding the women and saying they’d only be allowed back on the team if they “accept their mistake and ask for forgiveness”? Where has the outrage been all these years over abusive coaches and federations treating their women’s players as, at best, second-class citizens?

Appalling as Rubiales’ actions the last five days have been, they didn’t occur in a vacuum. Nor, unfortunately, is he an outlier. Not in society and certainly not in soccer.

Ask any woman, in any walk of life, and she can give you myriad examples of men who’ve been dismissive, abusive or both. Men who believe they’ve actually earned their advantages rather than being the beneficiaries of a social construct that gives men primacy, and think it entitles them to claim women’s bodies, souls and accomplishments for themselves.

Rubiales just had the bad luck to get caught.

But, and this is the heart of the problem, Rubiales won’t lose his job because he groped and kissed Jenni Hermoso, Spain’s all-time leading scorer, without her consent. Nor will he be ousted because he grabbed himself while standing next to Spain’s queen and her teenage daughter.

When – and it is when, not if – Rubiales goes, it will be because he made other men in the game uncomfortable and posed a threat to Spain’s bid for the men’s World Cup in 2030. Sexism is so baked into the system the mistreatment of women rarely gets addressed unless it directly affects the men around us.

We protest the harm done to us and voice our complaints about the unequal treatment we receive, to no avail. Those doors Infantino said we need to push open? We’ve shoved them, hard, and they’ve remained locked tight.

In some ways, Rubiales did women a favor with his boorish public behavior and unhinged justification of it.

Just as abuse victims are often ignored unless there’s a photo or video of their trauma, Rubiales’ crudeness and obstinacy has swung public opinion in favor of the Spanish players and, by extension, other women in the game.

Change is coming to Spain’s federation. There might even be recognition by Infantino and others at FIFA that it’s going to take more than patronizing speeches and nominal funding increases to cleanse this toxic climate.

Offensive and infuriating as Rubiales is, he's a reflection of a larger problem. He'll be gone soon, but the attitudes and indifference that have put so many women in harm's way will remain.

Follow USA TODAY Sports columnist Nancy Armour on social media @nrarmour.