Current:Home > MarketsWill Sage Astor-Psychopaths are everywhere. Are you dating one? Watch out for these red flags. -Prime Capital Blueprint
Will Sage Astor-Psychopaths are everywhere. Are you dating one? Watch out for these red flags.
EchoSense Quantitative Think Tank Center View
Date:2025-04-10 12:46:09
Psychopaths aren't just found in prisons,Will Sage Astor true-crime documentaries or horror films; some walk among us.
In fact, you probably know one.
"Everybody knows somebody with psychopathy," Abigail Marsh, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Georgetown University and the co-founder of Psychopathy Is, an organization dedicated to alleviating suffering caused by psychopathy, says. "You might think that this issue doesn't relate to you, but it does. You definitely know least one person who has psychopathy."
Psychopaths don't experience empathy, guilt or remorse; as a result, they have no problem hurting or exploiting others to get what they want. They make great serial killers and CEOs − and they can be very attractive when it comes to dating, Judy Ho, a clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, says.
"Some of the psychopath tactics for how to get close to people and gain their trust, it can feel very alluring in the beginning," Ho says, adding that about 1-3% of the general population, as well as 6-8% of leaders and executives, are psychopaths. "You finally find somebody who really understands you and cares about you, and so it's just easy to put the blinders on and ignore the signs that it's not going well and that there's something maybe sinister underneath."
What is psychopathy?
Psychopath is a colloquial term used to describe someone with traits of anti-social personality disorder.
Traits of psychopathy include impulsiveness, boldness and a "dominant, fearless personality," Marsh says, but "meanness is really the heart of psychopathy" as well as "a callous and uncaring attitude about other people's welfare."
Both social and genetic factors can push someone to anti-social behavior, and many psychopaths come from loving homes, Marsh says.
Ho says psychopathy is a spectrum and that psychopaths can be talented at "moving a company or an organization forward."
"When you get into the more severe aspects of the spectrum, then we're looking at things like a lack of empathy, using people as pawns for their goals without care for their feelings or what they want, some narcissistic qualities that are very self-centered, being upset whenever they feel like somebody is arguing with them or criticizing them in any way, even if it's constructive and well-meaning," Ho says.
Are you dating a narcissist?Watch out for these red flags.
To a psychopath, the only thing that matters is getting what they want − and they don't care who they hurt or wrong in the process.
Though psychopaths don't care about others, they can still be motivated to date if doing so will help them achieve a desired end. For instance, a psychopath might seek out a relationship in order to financially exploit someone, distract from other nefarious activities or simply to have sex.
"You actually see this with serial killers, mass murderers − they seemingly have normal lives," Ho says. "A lot of them actually were married and had children, for example, and actually kept up with some semblance of employment so that the community wouldn't necessarily suspect them."
Is narcissism genetic?Narcissists are made, not born. How to keep your kid from becoming one.
Like narcissists, many psychopaths seek admiration; however, while narcissists do this to feed their egos, psychopaths view admiration as a tool to help them get what they want, Marsh says. Many psychopaths also truly believe they can outsmart everyone else, though Ho says it's a myth psychopaths are more intelligent than the general population.
"Everything is instrumental," Marsh says. "Everything is about just achieving a goal, and so they want admiration and status and esteem because it's useful. Getting those things will help you get what you want."
Narcissists have a type.Are you a narcissist magnet? Here's how to tell.
Are you dating a psychopath? Here's how to tell:
Psychopaths are hard to spot, and usually their manipulation can only be clocked when it's done unskillfully, Marsh says. Here are the red flags to watch for in case your date is a psychopath.
- They love bomb strategically: "It's not just love bombing for the sake of love bombing," Ho says. "They tend to get more specific. They'll find something that's really personal to you and then essentially look like they're making it their life's goal to make that part of your life better for you."
- They seem overly generous: Gifts from a psychopaths often have strings attached. "They might be trying to manipulate you by giving you all the things they think you want, and then now you'll feel like you're in their debt," Marsh says.
- They keep the focus on you: Unlike narcissists who need the spotlight, "psychopaths talk about you on the first date, but it's all very strategic," Ho says. "It's trying to get information, know where your weaknesses are, know where you're hurting so that they can actually utilize that to bring you closer to them."
- They want you isolated: "As you start to trust them more, they start to gradually distance you from the rest of your life," Ho says.
- They crave control: "At first they'll say, 'Let me just have you turn on your location on your phone, so that I can make sure you get home safe from work.' But then after that, it's like, 'Well, let's just have your location on all the time,' " Ho says.
- They disappear without a trace: Psychopaths have difficulty keeping long-term commitments, like jobs or relationships, Ho says. Be on the lookout if your date has a spotty work history or other inconsistencies in their background. "They kind of jump from job to job and relationship to relationship, and then, whenever somebody doesn't give them what they want, then they kind of just move on," Ho says. "When things don't go their way, they disappear, so you never really get a chance to actually see them really at their complete worst."
More:What happens when a narcissist becomes a parent? They force their kids into these roles.
veryGood! (6163)
Related
- The Super Bowl could end in a 'three
- 2 teens arrested, 2 sought in a drive-by shooting that mistakenly killed a 5-year-old girl
- Southern California braces for more floods as tropical storm soaks region from coast to desert
- Suspect who killed store owner had ripped down Pride flag and shouted homophobic slurs, sheriff says
- California DMV apologizes for license plate that some say mocks Oct. 7 attack on Israel
- Feds charge former oil trader in international bribery scheme involving Mexican officials
- A right-wing sheriffs group that challenges federal law is gaining acceptance around the country
- Wildfire nears capital of Canada's Northwest Territories as thousands flee
- Grammy nominee Teddy Swims on love, growth and embracing change
- MLB power rankings: The National League wild-card race is living up to its name
Ranking
- Warm inflation data keep S&P 500, Dow, Nasdaq under wraps before Fed meeting next week
- Rainfall from Hilary almost met the yearly average for some areas of California
- From MLK to today, the March on Washington highlights the evolution of activism by Black churches
- Probiotics fuel us but what fuels probiotics? Prebiotics.
- US wholesale inflation accelerated in November in sign that some price pressures remain elevated
- Whose seat is the hottest? Assessing the college football coaches most likely to be fired
- Big Ten college football conference preview: Can Penn State or Ohio State stop Michigan?
- Montana asks judge to allow TikTok ban to take effect while legal challenge moves through courts
Recommendation
A White House order claims to end 'censorship.' What does that mean?
Horoscopes Today, August 21, 2023
3 deaths linked to listeria in milkshakes sold at Washington restaurant
Sarah Hyland and Wells Adams Celebrate First Wedding Anniversary With Swoon-Worthy Tributes
San Francisco names street for Associated Press photographer who captured the iconic Iwo Jima photo
Georgia sheriff pleads guilty to groping TV Judge Hatchett
Weather service confirms fifth tornado among a spate of twisters to hit New England last week
How a mix of natural and human-caused caused factors cooked up Tropical Storm Hilary’s soggy mess